“Change is the law of life. And those who only look to the past and present are sure to miss the future.”
– John F. Kennedy
Some say they don’t like change, yet there is so much that doesn’t; there is still a lack of communication, that hasn’t changed. Companies and people still thrive on negativity, no change there. The weather in the UK is still the same and the England football team still cannot win a major tournament! Need I say more?
But we know change is the one constant thing in life, so what is it about change that people cannot handle or find difficult? What could change give us?
It can give us new direction, a new vocation, a new approach to a situation, etc., etc., etc. We all know what it means and what it’s like to have a “light bulb moment”, it’s about having that spark of inspiration, that flash of an idea, that change of a way to solve a problem.
Sometimes we struggle to find the inspiration or motivation we desire. We get “stuck” or dwell too much on the problem rather than the solution. We think more of what we cannot do rather than what we can do. We can get stuck in negativity and struggle to have that light bulb moment. If we use the image of a lamp, what do we do when it doesn’t light up the room? To get it to shine again we have to change the bulb.
During a coaching session with a friend and fellow NLP Master Practitioner, he said he was going to look at his strategy to do something and why he holds himself back to making money. If he changed his thinking and rather than ask himself why, he could ask himself what am I going to do to make money. Changing your own language helps change the dynamics of the thought.
Whilst reading “How to Take Charge of Your Life: The Users Guide to NLP” by Richard Bandler, the main character Joe, was asked what kind of questions he could ask himself in order to set himself of in the right direction. He came up with seven questions;
- How can I change?
- Why do I want to change?
- What will it be like when I have changed?
- How can I build the life of my dreams?
- Who do I need to be to achieve what I want?
- What do I need to learn to create the life I want?
- When will I start taking action?
Two simple questions to ask yourself;
- What do I want specifically? and,
- How will I know when I have achieved it?
If you want to be stuck in your thinking, you could be stuck on the choices you have rather than what you don’t have in order to achieve your goal or outcome. In the book, Bandler also says, “In the absence of hope, sometimes you need to create it.”
Some other questions to consider asking yourself could be;
- What do I need to do more of to reach my goal?
- What do I need to do less of to reach my goal?
- What do I need to stop doing to reach my goal?
- What do I need to change to reach my goal?
- What do I need to begin to do to reach my goal?
I cannot stress enough the fact we need to focus on the solution rather than the problem. I see it too many times in people, and used to do the same myself until I changed my thinking.
As an example, I was caught up thinking of having to travel 135 miles twice per day to commute or lose the opportunity of working with a client. So do I focus on getting the client and the work, or do I focus on the distance between us? Do I focus on gaining a client and referrals to others, or do I focus on how do I get there? Do I focus on how bad the traffic could be? Is it worth the money after paying out fuel costs and service to my car? How will the weather impact on the journey to and from the client or even the time of the day I would be travelling? Will I be too tired to work with the client after doing the trip a few times? We are really good at bringing up as many issues and obstacles we can think of which only drags us deeper in to the problem and eventually stops us.
Would it be more beneficial for me to think of finding a way to be closer to the client? Maybe stay at a friends place who lives nearby? Stay at a hotel nearby and put the cost in the charges? Look for a quicker, shorter route? The client would be happy I took the effort and could pass on my detail to others they know and would benefit my services.
Finding the solution gets me much better results than dwelling on the problem. Looking for the resources I need to get a more positive result for me gets me more motivated to change the situation. Change the bulb in order to see the light gets me through the darkness.
To gain your goal or whatever it is you want, start with the end in mind. What would you like to happen? What will you see, hear, feel, smell, taste when it happens and you have achieved what it is you want? Immerse yourself in that image of when you have succeeded, have gotten through all the pain and stress to get what you want, have surpassed all expectations. Doing this daily will give you more clarity instead of clouding your mind with negative thoughts. From this you will work out what you need to move forward.
You could even start by calling us or dropping us a line via firstname.lastname@example.org or by using the “contact us” form. We deal in helping you achieve your fullest potential. We will have you looking towards a much brighter future.
It doesn’t matter how many people or how many times it takes to change the light bulb…as long as it gets changed.