This may seem like an odd question, and it’s a really important one.
In your life, are you in the driving seat? Are you in control of where you are going, making the decisions about which direction you take, being responsible for everything that happens along the way, or is someone else driving and you are merely a passenger, looking out the window as the world passes you by?
Here’s another question – how can you be sure that you will get to where you want to go if someone else is driving?
I mean, if they decided, last minute, to take a detour, or to change the destination altogether, you would find yourself headed in a completely different direction from that which you wanted to go. What if the same were true in your life & goals? You may say that it’s not that easy to be in control. It’s very easy to blame circumstances – I can’t do x because I have to do y. I need to do a, b and c and I don’t have a choice . . . if these statements sound familiar then it’s likely you are living your life at the effect of others.
Many people believe that they have no control over their life. Well, I’ve got some good news for you – whatever your circumstances, there is one thing you are absolutely in control of and that is your mind!
One of the ‘Presuppositions of NLP’ (which are ways of thinking which, with this mindset, will improve your communication with yourself and others), is that ‘You are in charge of your mind, and therefore your results’. This is about understanding that you are in charge of your own mind, your state, your feelings, how you choose to behave, and any decisions that you make – nobody can make you do anything (unless, of course, you allow them to!)
You may feel that you have to make a decision based on what somebody else thinks, and it is still you that decides to make that decision. If you don’t have a goal for your life, chances are you will be living at the effect of other people – in other words, you are being a passenger on your bus that’s travelling to an unknown destination. If, on the other hand, you are totally at cause for your life – in other words, you accept that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life and you have a clear idea of where you want to get to (ie a goal), then by default it is you who is in control of making sure you get there – you decide the route, the length of time it will take, and what you will experience and enjoy along the way.
So let’s just ask that question again – who is driving your bus? . . . maybe it’s time to put yourself back in the driving seat . . . I wonder what would happen if you did?
Francesca Dicembre, Headgear Labs Ltd